Good is as it Gets

Christians: Happy Go Lucky, Brainwashed
I often wonder if some people think of Christians as some sort of Happy Club that is nothing more than brainwashing which makes you forget you have problems once you believe in Jesus. The image that comes to mind is that of a Stepford wife, happily slaving away working at the church bake sale and spouting out scripture verses that try to explain away every difficult situation without ever admitting that life itself, is sometimes not always great. But this depiction could not be further from the truth.

The Seriousness of Our Plight
The truth is Christians also face difficult lives. We’re unhappy about the same things that non-Christians are too. I hate paying taxes, and I grumble about people who take a parking spot in front of me. I sometimes get depressed over personal issues and I occasionally get irritated with my boss (okay, a lot). And I too am angered and hurt when I lose someone to death, especially someone who didn’t deserve to die.

But death is exactly what we all deserve. The Bible says that the wages of sin are death (Rom 6:23). Repayment for the sin that entered the world when Adam and Eve ate from the tree that God said not to, is death.

Why Do We Deserve Death?
It’s hard to understand why God would say that we deserve death. After all, we didn’t sin in the Garden of Eden that was Adam and Eve, not us. But it’s because of Adam’s sin, that we are now born into sin’s curse. Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned, Romans 5:12. It’s because of this curse that life is difficult to live through in this world. Genesis recounts that God said to Adam, …cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. (Gen. 3:17) There it is in black and white, and we can’t expect life to be any different. Life is tough!

People Do Good, Even the Non-Christian Ones.
Despite the fact that life is difficult, it’s still encouraging to see people want to do good. Something in us is moved when we see people reach out and do good for each other. When I see celebrities or well known people giving their time to work with impoverished nations to bring clean drinking water, or teach a village education they’ve never had-that’s good! But good works are nothing more than just good works. Do they give advice, provide protection? Does doing good bring financial security? Can good works help us escape death and enter eternal life in heaven? Not hardly. How often do we hear of good people in trouble? Even celebrities experience marital problems, depression, drug use, or financial ruin. These things can happen to anyone, no matter how much good they’ve done.

Why Not Just Do As Santa Claus Says?
So why not just be good for goodness sake? Because actually, we ourselves are not good, so how can we do good? And what we think of as good is not that great. Our standards are incredibly low, compared to God’s. Next, it’s hard to be good! It takes effort to serve others without tiring, so if we are to be good, we’re going to need something besides sheer will-power and lots of money. And more often than not, without the power of Christ, our good becomes self-serving and counter-productive to actually doing good for others.

In the book of Matthew, we see a story about a rich man who asks Jesus about being good. In the middle of his teaching ministry, a rich man approaches Jesus and eagerly says, Teacher, what good things should I do to get eternal life? (Mt 19:16)

This sounds like a logical question even to us today; God, what should I do to be good? I want to be good. Good is popular. Good is getting a lot of credit lately. Oprah does good. And people like it when you’re good. It warms hearts and brings people together. And for the most part, isn’t that what religion is about, how to be good? Isn’t good--well, good?

The problem with the idea that being good --is good enough is this:

We’re not good.

Not even close.

We’re Not Good?
We’re not good because we’re terribly flawed and let’s face it, you cannot make good stuff from flawed stuff. As mentioned above, we are all born into sin because of Adam’s downfall. Because I am born into sin, my natural state is to do wrong. A great description of this comes from an author I read that said:

We are sinners because of our nature; it’s not just that we commit sins. I have a pet, and he barks because he is a dog. It’s in his nature to do so. (Speaking In Doctrines, Posted by C-LOS - October 29th, 2010)

I love where the author says; it’s not just that we commit sins that makes us a sinner. This is a key distinction here, because so many people are fooled into thinking that doing good=being a good person. We must accept that we are flawed and imperfect people. I’ve never met a person who can claim perfection in anything, and we seem to be content with that as a society. As Christians, we should be quick to agree and point out that even knowing Jesus Christ doesn’t change this. We will always be flawed and desire to do sinful things in this world, it’s in our nature to do so.

God’s Standard is Too High to Achieve.
The second problem with the idea that being a good person, is good enough, is that God’s standard of good, is impossibly high. God is perfect and without sin. We are not perfect and sinful. God’s standard is perfection. We are imperfect and incapable of reaching that standard. Isaiah knew this when he lamented in his book, We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.
So because good is such a lofty goal in the eyes of God, we could never hope to even reach the first few steps towards it.

Psalm 53:2,3 says, God looks down from heaven to see if there are any who understand...EVERYONE has turned away..there is no one who does good, not EVEN ONE.

Romans 3:12, all have turned away ...there is no one who does good, not EVEN ONE.

This is reflected in the response that Jesus gives to the rich man from the Matthew passage when he says, Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only One who is good.

Jesus then goes on to get at the heart of the rich man’s issue. He lists the requirements of living a good life in the eyes of the Lord, living by the commandments. To which the rich man responds, I’ve done these since I was a kid, what else should I do? At this, Jesus cuts straight to the heart of his failures and announces that if he wants to be perfect, he should sell all his valued possessions and follow him. To which the man walks away sad, and incapable of doing. So often we think that we are willing to do good, but our flesh is incapable of really living up to God’s complete standards.

God is perfect.
We are not.

But, I See Good People.
How can the Bible say that no one is good, if I see people who are non-believers doing good all the time?
Apart from God, we might feel inclined to do good works. But again these works do not offer us eternal life, and apart from God, we will be incapable of sustaining goodness. The article from Speaking In Doctrine also gives a good explanation on why;

[because we are all sinners, we don’t naturally seek]… after God but [we] may do a great job seeking after the benefits of God. For example, someone may want peace in their life and attend church activities but do not want to repent from their sin. Their seeking is lead by a self-fulfilling desire rather than a desire to honor God. True God-seeking will only come when our heart is changed by the Holy Spirit and are given new desires. (Excerpt from, Speaking In Doctrines, Posted by C-LOS - October 29th, 2010)

What is Really Good Then?
If the goal of being good is to enter the kingdom of heaven, then we cannot expect a perfect God to allow us back into eternal life without repayment of the original sin. Doing so, would prove God unjust and unholy. Our God is just and He is holy, and therefore requires payment for sin. This payment has been made for us, through the death of Jesus Christ, a perfect life sacrificed. Through one man, God banished us from eternal life through the disobedience of Adam. And through one man, God in the flesh as Jesus Christ, he also redeemed us re-entrance. John MacArthur, a well known writer and minister once said that there are two religions in the world: human attainment and divine accomplishment.
All other religions in the world trust in some degree in human merit for salvation. Only Christianity understands that man is imperfect and only capable of reaching God through the gate of the only man to reach God’s standards.
The difference between doing good as a non-Christian and doing good as a Christian is that the Christian good works are the inspired deeds of a life striving to please God first and not man. The fruits of love and service come as a by-product from accepting and seeking after a life lived pursuing Jesus as the gate into heaven. Doing good works never gains our entry into heaven, because we are not good, our standards are too low, and we are incapable of sustaining good intentions. Instead, eternal life in heaven is given by the grace of God; a free gift from the God that understands us, because He created us. The grace to enter the kingdom of heaven because of who God is:

Good.

Retraction: A Major Ooops

I've only had to write one retraction blog before in several years of blogging. It was in response to a blog I wrote about Biblical reasons to support Obama. The retraction pretty much said "never mind, I was wrong".

But this time, the retraction is much more personal. I am very embarrassed and sorry to say that my #52 in the previous blog stated I had no friends when I moved to Texas.

Let me tell you a story about one of my very best friends, Victoria.

When I met Victoria, I called her Vickie, even though I think she hated being called that (she told me it rhymed with things like Icky, and Sticky). She had just started working at Sonic right after I had. We were both carhops and remember "the way we use to do it back then". School afternoons were spent sectioning cheese squares out onto trays (so they could be easily grabbed by the cooks) and stuffing greasy bags full of 7 tater tots each (so the cooks could also just grab them and dump quickly). They don't do that anymore. We also remember what it was like to carry a change counter on our hip. They don't do that anymore either.

Victoria was my partner in crime. We spent many nights together at Sonic Drive in playing "Truth or Dare" and you could see us shoving ice down each other's shirts, or walking around the store OINKING. We drove our manager crazy!

She also drove a hot little red sports car with T-Tops, which was incredibly fun to ride in, and we made several trips down to Santa Fe to eat Red Lobster. (We have an inside joke about the crab crackers and Pretty Woman.)

Even her family called me their second daughter, and during my Senior year of highschool when I was too smart to live at home with my own mom, Victoria's family let me live with them. Many summer nights were traded laughing hillariously with each other. One of our favorite passtimes was hanging out in greeting card stores laughing at funny greeting cards. I swear, no one laughs with me the way she does. She gets my humor, and I get hers.

When I went away to college, we had great plans of rooming together the following year. (Vic was a year behind me), alas this did not work out for me and we were separated when I moved to North Carolina. Josh got out of the military and we decided to move to Dallas. About a year later, I got a phone call from Vic (who now went by Victoria) saying she was thinking of moving to Dallas! I was SO EXCITED!!
We spent many weekends together, and danced a blue streak through several local bars. (Dancing on the speakers together was ours specialty!)

I was super excited when she got married, and became a stepmom and had her baby boy Trevor. I was amazed and wowed at her ambition to create her own custom bedding for Trevor, and volunteered to help show her how to use the sewing machine. (I'm still not sure if I showed you correctly or not! ha!) With the help of her friend Cecilie we through her a baby shower and enjoyed watching her go through all the mothering pains of laying on the bathroom floors, and first steps, and second steps.

Vic has been one of my dearest friends for so long, and I'm embarrassed and ashamed that I totally flubbed that in my last blog!

Love you, Vickie! Please forgive my insensitivity...you truly are the friend I have shared the longest, and I am so grateful for your friendship.

115 Things About Me

I'm totally stealing this idea from Shelly.

1. I grew up in Oklahoma and moved to New Mexico when I was 13.
2. We moved because my mom was tired of the rat race pace of life that followed her graphic art business she ran from our house.
3. I loved living in NM more than OK b/c OK girls wore heels to school and carried a purse.
4. NM girls wear sandals or hiking boots and carry a backpack.
5. I still have my favorite Teva sandals and hiking boots in my closet.
6. I am married to my highschool sweetheart, Josh.
7. When I met him my favorite number was 15.
8. His was 51.
9. I swore I would never be the wife of a military man.
10. Josh was enlisted in the army for 6 years.
11. I was excited to travel abroad with my new army husband.
12. We stayed at Ft. Bragg, NC all 6 years.
13. I have two daughters.
14. Both were surprises.
15. I love surprises.
16. Jada was born in NM while Josh was away at army boot camp.
17. Josh was gone for 6 months.
18. This was the longest time I have ever been away from Josh for 19 years.
19. He is my best friend.
20. But I hate it when he calls me that.
21. I spend a lot of time thinking about things.
22. Clouds.
23. Birds.
24. The reason why I try to be a people pleaser.
25. (Let me know if this post is boring you)
26. I can make a Halloween costume out of anything in the house.
27. Halloween use to be my favorite holiday.
28. Making two costumes every year is really time consuming.
29. I am pretty judgemental about other people.
30. Josh has told me this.
31. He’s also told me I am condescending.
32. He has regretted telling me this. I bring it up often.
33. I love shellfish.
34. And butter.
35. My kids think it’s gross that I sometimes eat pats of butter when I bake.
36. I’m not overly concerned.
37. I was voted “Best Eyes” in my highschool yearbook.
38. I also organized the “Best of the Best” contest. :: wink ::
39. I hate doing laundry.
40. But I hate throwing old clothes away.
41. I have mounds of clothes throughout my bedroom floor in various stages of clean, slightly clean, dirty, and give away.
42. Josh does a lot of laundry at our house, but he hates putting it away.
43. See #41.
44. I am consistantly amazed at what a lovely young lady my daughter Jada is turning out to be.
45. I give full credit to God for her. She is nothing like I was as a teenager.
46. I pray every day that she doesn’t get bored of being “a good kid”.
47. I’m slightly scared about this, in fact.
48. Jyllian is completely different than Jada was at her age.
49. I’m also slightly scared about this.
50. I can roll my tongue into a clover shape.
51. I use to be able to whistle, but cannot anymore.
52. I had zero friends for the first 7 years I lived in Texas.
53. I met my closest friend at work.
54. When I met her, I immediately gained another close friend.
55. We call each other “Pals”.
56. One of my favorite movies is Young Guns about Billy the Kid.
57. Billy the Kid’s headstone has the word “Pals” written on it.
58. When one of us says something that another one does not like, we call each other ‘dead’.
59. But we’ve never really killed anyone.
60. Yet.
61. I love to write.
62. But I lose focus because I have so much that I want to write about.
63. I have 4 half-finished journals.
64. I always buy a new one before I’m done with one.
65. I have a hard time finishing a lot of things.
66. (I’m considering shortening this list.)
67. I love to travel.
68. I’ve never been outside the US, and have only visted 6 states.
69. I'd love to travel more.
70. My first plane ride was at 7 years old.
71. I was alone.
72. They use to give you airplane wings, and let you visit the cockpit when you were 7.
73. Two years ago I sent my two girls to see grandma on their fist plane ride together.
74. Alone.
75. I've never flow with another person I knew. I've always flown alone.
76. This July Josh and I will get to fly together for the first time ever.
77. Josh jumped out of airplanes in the army.
78. Josh and I have figured out that we probably met each other before I ever moved to NM.
79. He had a friend that was friends with my cousin.
80. I seem to recall meeting a “Josh” at this friend’s house.
81. My mom almost bought a chicken farm in Arkansas instead of moving to NM.
82. I toured 3 different ones with her, and still cringe at the thought of spending my highschool years as a chicken farmer's daughter.
83. I sometimes think about the circumstances that led me to where I am now.
84. Sometimes these thoughts bring me great joy.
85. Sometimes they bring me some sadness.
86. I am an only child to my mother and father.
87. I have 3 half brothers, 1 half sisters, and 1 step brother and two step sisters.
88. I am close to my half-siblings.
89. I have never met my step siblings.
90. My mother has been married 4 times.
91. My father has been married twice.
92. I will be married 16 years this year.
93. I have no desire to be divorced.
94. Ever.
95. I sometimes want to write a book called “Yesterday’s Child”.
96. Remembering that my sister would never have been part of my life, changes that desire.
97. I love her.
98. She and I have had many differences.
99. I was pretty mean to her when we were little.
100. At least she thinks I was.
101. I really just wanted to be “adult”.
102. I was also kind of jealous.
103. I tell her things I would never tell another soul in 100 years.
104. She sometimes uses that against me.
105. I don’t mind.
106. She has a son.
107. His name is Jack.
108. Jack is my most FAVORITE little boy in the world.
109. I have two nephews.
110. Jack is totally smarter than a 4th grader.
111. Jack is half black.
112. This is a sensative subject for some people.
113. It’s a non-issue for me.
114. I really just want to pretend that people are people no matter what color their skin is.
115. That’s pretty hard to do in this world.

To Kill A Mockingbird...

I’ve never seen this movie classic, but if it truly is ABOUT how to kill one I might be checking it out soon. You might make note, that I am up today at 4:30 AM, (if I have set the time accurately for this blog) and all because a bachelor bird is singing outside my window. That’s what Wikipedia says, anyway. For the last couple of nights, Josh and I have gone to bed, and heard a song bird singing outside our window. “That’s weird” I said the first night. The second night, we just laugh when we hear it, but neither night did we hear it more than once or twice. Tonight, the silly thing has sung until I was forced to get up in search of ways to silence the crazy bird.

First, I grabbed the two flashlights from Jyllian’s room.
If this bird wants to put on a show, let’s see how he likes singing with a spotlight on him. I chuckle sinisterly to myself.
That should scare him away, right? I pad back to my room across the hallway floor, trying carefully not to wake the entire house in case others are able to sleep through the ear piercing shrills. Quietly I tug open the blinds and stand with my feet shoulder-width apart, a flashlight in both hands aimed into the night through my wide open window. I’m now also very aware that I’m standing in just a tank-top and underwear. I hope no one sees me like this. I click-ON the flashlights and point them toward the sounds.

“Ha-HA! TAKE THAT BIRDIE!!”

Yeah.
Nothing.

Not only do I not even SEE the bird. But the bird doesn’t even give a pause to what I’m doing. And… well… the flashlight batteries were almost dead. So the effect was less like the powerful ”Hotel opening for the first time, spotlights blazing” than I imagined.
They were more like…..um, dead battery flashlights, dimly lighting the way to the toilet at a campsite.
Kind of lights.
Not real scary to a singing bird at night.
Or anyone, for that matter.

My second remedy was to go outside and see if I can throw something at the bird. It’s warm, at least, outside and thank goodness it’s Sunday morning, because I’m not sure I could go to work with this much lack of sleep. How could I call in “sick” over this?

“Hi Mark…” cough, cough. “Yeah, it’s Kasey- look I don’t think I’m going to come in today. I gotta catch up on some sleep I lost over a bird. A bird! No… A BIRD!! Forget it, I’ll be there in a while.”

So out in the yard, armed with my weakly-lit flashlight, I pick up one of Chippy’s tennis balls and hurl it into the massive evergreen tree towering in the darkness.

BONK!– I hear, and like magic a bird goes flying out of it!

Oh my gosh, I cannot believe I hit that @#$in bird on the first shot! I am totally “The Bird Slayer”. I begin to turn around, but my excitement is short-lived as I hear it sing even louder as if now actually LAUGHING at my feeble attempt. It picks up fervor in his song, and I swear louder than it was before. I pick up another few balls and assault the tree blindly (my flashlight has gone out), only with no effect. It seems I am just chasing the bird around inside the tree at best, but he never misses a beat and carries on singing with perfect time. I give up and return inside, now contemplating if I should blog since I’m up.

If you google “Bird that Sings at Night”, the phrase will actually pre-populate before you get to the word “at”. Apparently this is a problem for a lot of people. The websites I came across identified the bird as a Mockingbird, male, and singing because he is trying to attract a mate.

Great….I bet that first bird that I chased away, was this guy’s only chance at love.
Since I can still hear him singing….at now 5:10 AM.

Facebook Killed the Blogstar.

Its been a long while since I've blogged, or visited my friends' blogs too. But recently returned to catch up. Much to my surprise, many others have not blogged in a long while either. My friend Kristy, thinks that Facebook is to blame for her absence. Could be. Have we become so busy in life, that all we have time to write, or read from others is the micro-thoughts that wiz through Facebook and Twitter?
Say it isn't so!

Encouraging Words

Dear Child,

I know your worries, I know your frustrations and I know that you are putting your best effort into doing what I’ve told you in my word. Never tire of pursuing me, though your body and mind continuously grow fatigued. Stick it out- month after month, day after day and minute by minute. I see your efforts and I know what your sacrifice means. Hold on to my words and never worry that it’s all for nothing-- it's not. No small act for my sake is insignificant to me, despite the fact that people around you don’t notice. I notice. I see your restraint, I see your service and I hear you when you cry out in sorrow, “How much more can I take?”

Remember that you are not fighting against only mere men, but your battle lies in the supernatural realm as well, so it should come as no surprise you that with every step closer to me, you find it harder to continue among this world. Continue to arm yourself with my truths, for truly they are the only weapon that prevails, but you must know them to use them.

My way is freedom. My way is life. And My way is the good way. Even though you may stumble along the way, I will never leave you. Know that in the most difficult moments of your life, I weep with you for the tiresome journey and my greatest encouragement will come as you ascend the hill on the other side. I promise it is not for nothing. The greatest glory is soon to come. While your actions can never garner your entrance into heaven, your willingness to walk the road with me by your side makes it possible for you to have power to persevere and eventually overcome. You only need call my name.

I love you my child more than you can possibly know and in those moments that you consider the easier path, or the one more difficult…I see you. My Holy Spirit is your advocate constantly refilling you with abundant energies, multiplying your efforts, rely on Him.

Hold on.
March On.
Live On.
For one day this world will be but a shadow of what is to come.

Teach your children, even though your tired.
Say no to gossip, even though it’s tempting.
Serve each other in love, with no desire to prosper yourself.
Sacrifice yourselves for my sake so that one day you will be counted among those who climbed, clawed, and cried their way through this life for the sake of Christ.
Well Done, my good and faithful child. Be Brave.

I Know, I Know

… I'm certainly not claiming to know everything, but what I do will save your life.– MercyMe, I Know

What a great line for every evangelitical Christian to remember as they head out the door every morning.

First, that we don’t know everything. Some of us are better educated than others, some of us have vast collegiate or theological knowledge and some of us are just average everyday people—trying to raise a family, and live the way Jesus has asked us to. But God likes to use those of us who are limited in some way. His glory is even greater when he makes something out of what seems to be nothing. So never discount yourself as insignificant- in the eyes of God, you are perfect to be used by Him.

And second, that what we know can save lives! More than CPR, more than a skilled surgeon, more than stop, drop and roll.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. Matt 16:25

There is nothing more powerful to save lives, than the power of knowing Christ. And within each Christian is this information to save others.

If you were walking through the forrest and saw a man laying on the ground dying of a poisonous snake bite, and you carried the anti-venom in your pocket--wouldnt you rush over to save his life with it? I bet most of us would.

But the world will try to fault you for sharing this life-saving information.

The world will portray you as biggoted, callus, arrogant, and judgemental for speaking the truth about Christ.
The world will scoff that Jesus is not the only way to heaven.
The world thinks we are narrow minded to assume that only people who believe in Christ are allowed to heaven.

But what we know is the truth.
That everyone is allowed into heaven, when they enter through Christ, who said;

I am the gate. John 10:79

So while this working mom who never went to college certainly cannot claim to know very much about life outside of teenagers and hourly wage jobs, I do know this:

Jesus is the bread of life. John 6:48
Jesus is the light of the world. John 8:12
Jesus is the true vine. John 15:1
And Jesus is the way, and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through him. John 14:6

Remember that what you know, could save someone’s life today.
Truth.

Men Don’t Speak Good

First, let me say that I love my husband and I don’t wish to de-value him at all as the leader of our house. At the things he is suppose to do, he does an excellent job- doing them the way God asks him to. Of course, there are some things that he probably needs help with, but I probably couldn’t accurately tell you what those things are b/c they would be skewed by ‘my idea’ of how he should lead. Which I am learning...is not necessarily the right way, it’s just MY way. (it's still hard to admit this)

But for amusement sake, I just want to point out how funny it is that men and women communicate so differently. I laughed at this article written by a man, who himself realizes this already. God made us different….so of course we communicate differently. (It’s still funny—if not incredibly frustrating!)

Recently, I was unpacking a left over moving box and came across a picture that Josh bought me when we were still dating in highschool. Now granted, he’s come a long way since boyhood— and I hope that he’s learned a thing or two about romance and me since then. (I hope) But this picture is made entirely of wooden veneer cut outs that create a picture of a rose. It’s sort of like all wooden puzzle pieces of different colored woods, darker red, and lighter pink…all together make a rose.

Now, I understand that when Josh bought this, he thought it was cool, and he thought of me (A GOOD thing! Thinking of me, yes.)
But then, he ruined the romatic part of the gift...when he imortalized this sentiment on the back of the picture by adding this inscription…

“Dear Kase…I bought this rose so I would never have to buy you another rose again. (Or at least, not as many) Love you always, Josh”

Oh swoon... just what every girlfriend wants- a hard picture of a non-smelling rose, that replaces all future need for sentiment of any kind.

How practical that man of mine is in the love department.

Love you Josh!

Violin and Poker

My summers are so much more lazy than the school year I've noticed. Josh and I have found ourselves bored to tears on some nights in fact. While Jyllie was on vacation recently, there were a few days that Jada was also away and we both found ourselves home alone twiddling our thumbs. We decided to try playing free poker at a local bar/grill place. Both of us like to play for fun, so we headed over to this little place to join.

I think I like cards because my family plays a lot of card games. My mom and I use to play hands of gin rummy when I was younger. And during the holidays when my grandmother would come to visit, we would often have 8-10 people sitting around playing games of 31 or ‘dimes’. These are some of my favorite memories, including the way my German aunt Ernestine would always say “See, I'm on my honor now” and dust her hand over the table a few times, meaning she was out of money, but could play one more hand that way...(tee hee). When Josh and I got married and he was in the military, we frequently had groups of friends come over to play spades, euchre, or hearts. I have pictures of us all sitting on milk crates and fold up chairs at a table in front of windows with blankets tacked up to them (because we couldnt afford curtains). Good times, good times.

And then, of course when we moved to Texas, I naturally learned how to play Texas Hold ‘Em.

I think I’m pretty good at understanding strategy, bluffing, and odds. I know what it means to hit top pair on the flop and whether the guy next to me is placing a value bet or already has a made hand. I love bluffing a good player out of a big pot and I understand why it’s not always a good idea to chase a flush, particularly if your short stacked. I know how to calculate outs and odds, but I also feel like I’m pretty good at reading other players better than percentages. (some call it luck) At any rate, sometimes it all works…and sometimes it doesn’t. And it's no biggy if we win or lose.

But there is a downside to playing cards at the bar. I mean, it IS a bar…not church. People swear, they drink heavily, and the clothing is not always tasteful.
I wish I could find a Christian venue to play cards regularly.

I try to be a little salt and light though...
Sometimes I wear my “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” bracelet, and once a guy commented on it. We had a conversation right there over the poker table about which verse was his favorite. It was one from Hebrews he said, and he quoted it for me too. That was cool. Another guy asked me about the cross on my ring. It's easy for me to speak about Christ, if someone asks me. Not so easy if someone is using his name as a swear word though.

I once sat at a table with a Matthew and a Mark….I commented that all we need was a Luke and John to make the Gospels complete. (I’m not sure anyone got that…but o well.) But I’m not really sure how God feels about us being there. Would he rather we spend our time elsewhere? Is it really gambling, if you never pay any money, or win anything?? Is being in an environment like this…something that tarnishes our Christianity? What do you guys think?

And so, we’ve spent a few nights playing this summer, knowing that when school starts we wont be playing much more.

And, just so that I am well rounded in my hobbies, I’m also taking up violin lessons again.

I played violin when I was in Jr. High from about 6th grade to 8th. But because it was dorky to play in the Orchestra, and because it was a pain to drag my violin case to basketball practice, I quit after I entered highschool. Now that I’m older, I really wished I had continued playing and I mentioned this to Josh in passing.

So my nice husband bought me a violin on craigslist one afternoon. Unfortunately, it was a cheap one and not really able to be played, so I went ahead and rented one from a local dealer who usually specializes in students. Then I managed to find a friend from church who teaches professional lessons to students as well.

Now once a week I have a lesson and in between poker nights-- you can find me in our garage practicing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Life is Good!

Chapter 1. READING

I’ve not blogged in sometime now. Sorry, I’ve been ….er…busy.

That’s not entirely true actually. My kids are both out of the house and work is rather slow, I don’t even have any classes going on right now. Life is pretty slow during the summer. Alright, alright. I’m reading the Twilight books. There, I’ve said it—and I don’t care if you judge me.

I’ve avoided reading these books, namely because my daughter absolutely loved and gushed over them. How interesting could teen drama be to me--30something yr old mom who spends most of my time in church. Not interested in boys or vampires.
Besides, I rarely read any fiction books anymore trading them in for mostly spiritual growth books and interesting biographies of Christians as well.

But as I headed out to sunbathe one afternoon (don’t judge me for that either! I know it’s bad for your skin, …but I am REALLY white and I needed a good dose of vitamin D) I went ahead and grabbed a lended copy of the first Twi Book. I figured it would be good to read it so I would really know what my daughter is also reading. This way I could counter any immoral elements in the book.

And I kept reading with vague interest, until about halfway through the book when I became really engrossed in the characters (namely ONE in particular). And when I finished with the first one, I couldn’t even wait through the weekend to pick up the next copy, and so I made a mid-nite run to Walmart to grab the second book. I’m now nearly finished with it as well, releshing every opportunity to read a few more pages…while walking to the car, while standing in the elevator, on my lunch break, before bed, any chance I can get.

And so because I'm so engrossed...
Here's a chapter of my own life, written in the style of Twilight)

Chapter 1.READING
Yesterday was one of those days…..On my way home, I got a flat tire about 14 blocks from my house. I flagged down a passer-by to call Josh but I knew he was out mowing the yard and wouldn’t hear the phone ring. After leaving a voicemail for him, I grabbed my purse and my book from the Aztek and locked the doors, actually relishing the new-found opportunity to walk home in my work shoes in 100 degree heat--uninteruppted and reading my book.

When I got home, I explained to Josh what happened. Confused by how un-annoyed I was to walk home…he looked at my face and then cut his eyes toward the book under my arm. His eyebrows pulled together and looked back at me with a “whatever” look on his face. I swear, he probably thought I flattened my tire on purpose. I giddily ran up the stairs two-by-two and pulled off my now slightly damp work clothes looking for some shorts and a TShirt to wear. I was humming a song from the Twilight soundtrack thinking how glad I was that the tire had not gone flat just 10 minutes earlier, while I was at the Walmart purchasing my newest CD. I wasn’t exactly hiding the fact that I liked to read Twilight…but I was rather embarrassed to admit that I’d even thought about purchasing other paraphenalia….I mean, I am a grown up and by definition should not be such a sucker for fan-junk.
What was next, posters of Rob Pattinson, T-Shirts that said "Cullen Baseball Club"?

Josh strolled through the door of our room just as I finished putting on a pair of cutoff sweat shorts. He had in his hand a black instrument case, and he casually laid it on the bed. I knew exactly what it was. I’d been wanting to take violin lessons again, and found a great deal online for one. He’d slyly told me earlier in the day that he couldn’t get in touch with the gentlemen selling the great violin any more and I’d been really disappointed. But now I jumped up and hugged his neck, sweaty and covered in lawn clippings and sighed “awww…you DID get it for me. Yay!” He looked pretty proud of himself, and I told him he earned major bonus points for surprising me.

“Come on” he said, as I stroked the aqua colored crushed velvet interior of the violin case.
“Where to?”
“To change your tire”
“Do I have to do anything? Or can I just, um, watch”
“You can sit in the truck and read your book, if that’s what your getting at”
“Thanks honey. More bonus points to you”
“And where can I spend these bonus points?”

We chugged down the stairs one after another, and I snagged the book on the way out the door behind him. Josh hopped up into his blazer, the machine I called “The Eyesore”. It was hard to tell from looking at the monstrosity if it had been orange and painted with grey primer, or primer gray and painted with orange. Either way, it was darn ugly. I scoffed when he shut the door behind him leaving me out on the oil-stained driveway, barefoot. I’d expected to jump in right behind him.

“You lost bonus points on that one” I said, hefting myself into the truck amidst the piles of tools and empty soda bottles laying all over the passenger seat. He lit a cigarette and said “What? You suddenly can’t get in by yourself?”
We took off toward my car, I pointed left turns and a right, and there it was, sitting just as I’d left it just an hour earlier.
Josh parked The Eyesore by the curb and jumped out, making his way toward my car, turning a lug wrench ‘round his hand as he walked. I chuckled at the lady giving him a long, hard suspicious gaze as she pulled her car toward her driveway in the back. Evidently this was her house my car had stopped in front of…and Josh with his sweaty appearance and lug-wrench twirling, was giving her cause for concern.

But halfway to my car he yelled back at me “Hey…it’s locked. Throw me your keys!”

Keys.

I ran my fingers over the cover of the book in my hands, and grinned impishly.
“um….I forgot them”.
He wasn’t pleased with my response and he marched back to the car, and we headed back to the house.

As we stopped near the curb in front of our house, I hopped out and waited for Josh to turn the truck off so he could pitch me his keys. I thought I’d better hurry, he looked wary waiting on me.

I fumbled through the key ring and finding the house key, inserted it and gave it a turn in the lock. But it didn’t budge. Hmmmm, maybe that wasn’t the right key. But there were no other "house-key looking" keys left.

“hey, the key doesn’t work” I yelled out to him.
“Yes it does, try it again”

More failed attempts.

“Josh…it doesn’t work.”
“Then you have the wrong key” What a genius I’ve married, I thought.

After several more obvious and theatrical tries, I could hear Josh give an emphatic huff and yank the garage door opener off the visor and march toward me.

“Let me see that" he grabbed the key ring dangling from my finger that I was holding straight up in the air over my head.

"………WHO TOOK MY HOUSE KEY?!”

We walked around the back together, and after raising the garage door he returned around the side of the house back to the truck, leaving me to walk into the house and grab my keys.

Upon finding them, I shoved them in my pocket, while still clutching my copy of the book. I couldn't risk leaving it unguarded in the truck, Josh had already hidden my book once-annoyed with my constant new hobby. It wasn't unlikely that he'd accidentally drop it down the storm drain or throw it at a stray dog just to be rid of it.

I walked through the front door and shut it behind me, pausing briefly before exploding into laughter.

“Um….I probably shouldn’t tell you, but the front door wasn’t even locked” I said between grins and giggles.

"Wow, you are a special brand of special, aren't you."

(END CHAPTER)

So, yeah, that’s really what happened to me yesterday. The funnier part is that we had to drive home again, because when we got the spare tire put on, he noticed it was low in air and he needed his compressor to pump it back up. But all the while I got to sit in the truck and read even more.
When I get through with the series, I’ll post a review….from a Christian mom perspective.
A Christian mom, sucked into the madness of Twilight. Sigh.
I really should know better.

A Joshua Kind of Dad

My husband is a Joshua leader. Which is funny, because he also shares his name with Joshua from the Bible.

When I met Josh, he was not very versed in the Bible, and to be honest I was not either. But, I at least knew some basic Bible stories that my Josh did not. So when my husband dedicated his life to Jesus and began to serve more, he curiously asked me one night who the Joshua of the Bible was because he wanted to know the origins of his name. I still have the email I sent to him one day referencing this site. I told him that his name means "God Saves" and is related to the name Jesus (Yeshua-Joshua). But beyond that information, I still didnt really know what or who his name was a tribute to.

Funny, I have several things in my home that have this verse on them:

But as for me and my House, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

This year, as I've mentioned before, I studied the life of Moses in BSF. And here's what I know now of Joshua. Joshua was a young man who had enormous faith at an early age. He demonstrated courage against the crowd during a moment of truth before the first attempt at entering the promiseland. And though in his life he made mistakes, God continued to work in him. Because of his great faith and trust, God appointed Joshua as leader to the Israelites after Moses died. Great faith in God first, earns great responsibility and the priveledge to do great works.

This past weekend was Father's Day and I recieved a devotional that talks about having a Joshua 24:15 dad. And as I read it, I realized what a coincidence and blessing that I am married to a "Joshua man".

I'm so blessed that my Josh lives out similar principals to the Joshua of the Bible. He gives up many things in his life to trust in the Lord. He is patient with me and the girls when we're not easy to lead. He makes mistakes, certainly. But his priorities are fixed on God first, and himself later.
He is a model of the Joshua 24:15 verse, placing service and attendance in our church above other things in our house. He has turned down careers that take away from his time in serving the church, and our daughters have heard, "You are expected to attend church on Sunday, no excuses" more than once. His leadership is both godly and compassionate and he's not afraid to go against the crowd when it comes to popularity.

I sent Josh a note thanking him for being this kind of leader in our home.Have you thanked the Fathers in your life for being great leaders this week?

My own dad has a stone plaque in his office that has remained with him as long as I can remember. It says "Any man can be a dad, but it takes a great man to be a Father" Semantics aside, the quote speaks to the fact that it takes more than just a physically able body- to be a great leader to a family. It takes a man led by God to Father a family the way our heavenly Father does.

I love you Josh Harris and I'll follow if you promise to lead.
.
.

Kasey's Wisdom

Cupcakes are nothing more than a vehicle which allows you to avoid the embarrasment of eating frosting with a spoon.
More spoon-licking recipes.

The Fall of the American Empire?

If I haven't said it enough
THE TRUTH PROJECT- I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

One of the lessons in the series, deals with matters of the state. The rise of the state's power and it's link to social decline. One key point cites a passage from Gibbons' The History of the Decline and the Fall of the Roman Empire.

Five attributes marked Rome at it's end:
1. A mounting love of show and luxury.
2. An obsession with sex, including homesexuality.
3. Freakishness in the arts, masquerading as originality, and enthusiasm pretending to be creativity.
4. An increased desire to live off the state.

It's this quote that comes to mind, particularly as I watch the news or read a magazine.

Today I got an automated email from Dallas' House of Blues announcing upcoming events. This one event seems to totally speak to number 3 above.
Sunday: Summer Slaughter featuring
Necrophagist
(Necro pertains to dead, Necrophagy pertains to eating dead)
Suffocation
Darkest Hour
Winds of Plague
Dying Fetus
Born of Osiris
Beneath the Massacre
After the Burial
Blackguard

Which seems to run the whole gammut of sin on one day. (Sunday, no less)
On another Friday: Meat Puppets with Retribution Gospel Choir (which I dont think is what we would describe as Gospel.)
Freakishness in the arts masquerading as originality. That's pretty much what satan's whole schtick is, masquerading as the original- never worthy.

How close are we to the fall of America?

Disco

We had a kind of rough weekend, capped off with a totally sad morning today.
Poor doggie, I took her this morning to the vet to be put to sleep.

She had not eaten for the last week and has lost almost half her body weight. The last three days, she has barely been able to get up off the floor, and has thrown up almost every time she gets up. She was unable to even keep water down anymore the last two nights. So last night we put up some baracades to the kitchen to keep her in there because even though she is weak she still tries to come upstairs to lie by our bed at night. This time, she didn’t even lift her head up off the floor. Her poor bony ribs are sticking out, and you can see them, and she wont hardly look us in the face. So sad how quickly she progressed from pretty good, to downright debilitated.

So this morning, I got up and went downstairs (knowing we were going to take her) and I laid beside her on the floor and talked with her. (I know…like Marley and Me. ) I thought it was kind of silly, but I wanted to give her some love. Then I woke the girls up to talk with her before I took her at 8:30. They came down, sat with her. Jyllie made her a card and asked me to put it in her grave with her (at the dr. office, which I didnt have the heart to explain to her)
The card said.
Dear Disco, you are my favorite dog. I hope you are my only dog. You are #1 and there is no other dog like you. I hope you have a good time in heaven. Jesus is nice. I love you forever and ever. Love Jyllian.
And she drew a picture of her and Disco together.

I read it to the dog while the girls pet her, both of them crying.
Then Jada helped me carry her on a ‘stretcher’ to the car. They stayed home while I drove up there.

I’m not typically a gushy person. I love dogs, but I feel like they are …dogs and when the time comes, it’s time. I've even been a vet tech and helped put many dogs to sleep before. I'm very no nonsense about it, so I didnt think this would be so bad. I even kind of felt sad that I couldn’t muster up a tear on the way there.
But I did talk to her, and sang Jesus loves the Little Doggies (seriously) to her on the way. When we got there, I went inside and asked if one of the nurses would come help me.

When I went to open the tailgate to the car…and saw her, I BURST into tears sobbing away, and I didn’t stop until I left the office. I cried bringing her in, setting her on the floor of the office, holding her head as she slipped to sleep.
And I cried and cried all the way home.

I couldnt believe how sad I was about the whole thing. She had been our family pet for almost 15 years though. I picked her up at the airport, the first day she came to live with us, all cute and 6 months old. She sat on my lap for the 2 hour car ride home in North Carolina. We stayed up all night together eating, drinking and bounding around the living room. And here I was at the end with her, holding her head and rubbing her paw. It was difficult. I didnt want to leave her there.

When I finally got up to leave, I walked still sobbing into the lobby where God
did a really awesome thing for me. There was a friend of mine from BSF in the standing at the check in desk. When she saw me, she walked over and gave me a big hug. It felt good to have a fried hug me, and I cried even more. After I hugged her, I started to walk away, then came back and hugged her again and said “I’m so glad you were here” which made her cry I think.

She was a good dog.
Best dog I ever had.
Disco Dog.

My Life As An Offering

What does it mean to follow Christ day in, and day out? This morning I received a devotional, it was from the Message translation.

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—Your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life—and place it before God as an offering. Romans 12:1

My life as an offering? How do I realistically do that? I know I don't want to offer a “ho-hum” existence as an offering to God. I don't want to offer a day that I barely roll out of bed, grumble to my kids about work, spend the day waisting time, and end up back home parked in front of the TV while I think about how depressed I am lately. What a terrible offering!

I want to offer my best to Him! And doing that means living with the highest integrity and honor. It means I am honest and trustworthy in all that I do. I don’t cheat on my time clock at work or on my income taxes. It means that I don’t tell lies, even small ones that seem not to hurt anyone. It requires me to take care of things that are trusted to me. It means I care more about teaching my children the word of God than watching TV. It means I can say no to temptations that previously had a hold on me. It means I help others before I consider helping myself. And it means I resist grumbling and focus my attention on the will of God in every part of my day. It means that I live a life worthy to offer before our most Almighty, Holy, God.

Wow.
THAT there sounds like a very tall order.

Let me be the first to say, I do not live this life all the time. Some of those things are easier than others. My selfish nature pulls at me constantly to be self-serving and sometimes untruthful. How, in the world (pun intended) does one do all these things all the time? It sounds like you would need to be down-right perfect!

The key I’ve found, to simply have a willing heart and faith in Christ Jesus. When I am honestly willing to live my life as an offering, Jesus is willing to strengthen me to live this way.

I once spent several days agonizing over the fact that I couldn’t increase my faith in God to provide. I was wrought with worry over whether or not I understood why He provided, and IF He would or not. I felt guilty when I thought I was not following Christ to the best of my ability.
But one night while I was getting into bed, the Holy Spirit brought this thought to my mind:
You may not be capable of increasing your faith, but all you need to do is believe that He will increase your faith. Christ is within you, you only need to have enough faith to believe that HE is capable. Can you do that?

It was the most joyful thought for me. That revelation that I didn’t have to believe in myself. I only needed to believe in Christ to do the work in me. Yeah, I could do that.

Our world is conditioned to think that God helps those who help themselves. This idea is wrong and doesn't appear anywhere in the Bible.
The reality is that God helps those who cannot help themselves, and He’s done that work through Jesus Christ.

I cannot live a life worthy of offering to God. But Christ within me lives that life. My job is to trust in Him to do this good work. Philippians 1:6

Love you guys!!

Office Musings from a Part Time Mom

If you work in a corporate office setting, you may get a chuckle out of my recent thoughts.

How many times are you obligated to say “Bless You” to the pod mate, who sneezes every 5 minutes all day?

It's hard to yell at your kids on the phone, when your single co-worker is looking at you across the wall.

Some people make their office areas look so cute! One lady even has a wooden cookbook holder, to hold her office memos.
Mine is decorated with a few family photos stuck with thumbtacks to the wall, 5 half empty containers of water/coffee/tea, a
a squishy stress ball in the shape of the world that was free at last month’s earth day, approximately 24 post-it notes with forgotten
reminders, and a few old Christmas ornaments that I got as gifts from coworkers last year. I’m thinking of hiring a interior-pod-decorator.

When you encounter someone in the bathroom that you work with…should you say
“Hey, how’s it going?” as if you’ve not sat right next to them for the last 3 hours of work?

A quote from Jerry Maguire, his dad said after he retired:
“…I wish they had given me a more comfortable chair.”
Which I concure with. The supposedly ergonomic ones I have hurts my butt. But no one is sympathetic for workman's comp because of your butt. (especially because, I know...mine looks like it has enough padding to warrant me the ability to sit on a hard metal stool without pain.)
I’ve considered bringing my exercise ball to work to sit on, but I’m not sure how I feel about having to chase it down the hall when the first funny guy kicks it.

How much conversation about the weather is required on an elevator ride between just two floors?

If I’m wearing headphones it means I don’t want to talk to you right now. Stop throwing paperclips at me to get my attention.

Just like in elementary school-if you didn’t bring enough cupcakes to share with everyone, don’t bring them at all.
However, if I am eating a cupcake….please don’t ask me where I got it. It’s embarrassing enough to devour this in front of you, let alone
tell you that you didn’t make the list of “Who to share my goodies with” from Norma down the hall.

Email is a very poor way to communicate.
But it sure beats complaining to someone’s face.

ALT+Tab = The fastest way to change your screen from your blog, to your sales report.

Products You Never Knew Existed

The Pee Pee TeePee - Because Baby Showers are not always fun.
(and for those more fashionable moms, they come in blue with little airplanes as well.)

Elephant Poo paper roses: Nothing says “I love you more, than pachyderm poop” Getting these roses from your husband would be worse than finding out your diamond ring is made from glass.

Recycled Windshield Wine Glasses - Should you come across any, please ignore the embedded bug fragments.

Handblown Glass Bat Fan Pull – For your bat cave.
But if you had an actual bat cave, you probably wouldn’t need a handblown bat fan pull.

Paper Bag Vase – To hold your poo poo flowers

For the bargain price of $22.00, you too can say- “Huh!?”

.

LOST: Cute 30something female

Somewhere between graduating highschool, and becoming super mom I feel like I got a little lost. It is so hard to live in Plano, land of the soccer mom, and feel normal sometimes! My mom was not a soccer mom. My mom hunts elk.

I don't feel spiritually lost, I do know Who my compass is but I feel just personally lost sometimes in a sea of carpools, hamburger helper, girlscout cookies and softball games.

I know some of you reading this are going to tell me that "it's important to take time out for yourself too!" but....I dont know what I want to do.

So tomorrow I took the day off from work, to have some quite time. With God, and to reconnect. I always feel better after I do that.

PS
My friend Victoria brought me a gorgeous wall hanging bronze urn with peacock feathers poking out of it. I love it!

Campy

This past weekend I took Jyllian on a campout with her Girl Scout troop. In case you don't know me, I am a lazy mom who occassionally likes to don a rather tight fitting Super Mom outfit.

I love doing the artsy-crafty stuff, but I'm not as good at the leading part, b/c I think I'm just plain bossy.

Before we left I created an entire schedule, hour to hour of what activities we would do while we're there. From arrival and check in, game time, nature hiking and meals I had planned it all out, made copies and given them to the moms.

But my moms were not so keen on sticking to the plans. They did, but I could tell they didnt want to. O well, I made them. Because I feel like, if I didnt lead...well then it's just a weekend vacation, and you could have come up with your own stuff to do.

THe highlights of the weekend were: a great time in the lake with incredible blow up inflatable lake-toys. Bonding with the girls in a new way (I can still hear "MISS KASEY" in my sleep) Great camp food and fun!

On Saturday evening, I was given the great privledge of "LIGHTING THE FIRE!!" which is a privledge given only to those leaders willing to be "camp certified" by Girl Scouts. Which really means your willing to give up two entire days to rough it with some other leaders, and eventually learn to light a fire...among other things.

If you go through this training...YOU TOO can have 3-4 adults standing around you telling you how to light a fire too! It wasn't too bad, but I hate when people do that. GO AWAY!!! Kind of like when someone stands at your desk and tells you how to operate your computer, but I digress...I did get the fire lit, and had two moms standing next to me actually take the credit for it, b/c they had given me such great advice. (put more paper in it! dont' blow out the flames. Great, thanks)

What was even more annoying is that at the end of the night, my other duty as "Fire certified leader" is to put the fire out in a safe manner. No one standing around to tell me how to do this- imagine that. This includes moving the logs out of the center, crunching up the coals, and dousing it all with water. You also have to throw several shovel fulls of dirt on it. While I was getting a shovel of dirt, one mom threw a package of marshmellows in the middle of the logs.
"who put this here?" our camp guide asked. "Oh, I did, it had ants in it" said a mom. I looked at the melting sticky goo, over at the trashcan just feet away, and back at the fire pit of mess again. Um, okay. Not sure why you thought it would be a better idea to burn a bag of marshmellows right in the middle of a fire that someone is putting out with a shovel, but whatever.

The night was spent sleeping on the top bunk with Jyllie. I shared with her to make room for another little girl to have her own bunk. Apparently my body is old and fat, because I was completely aching after a long day of swimming, hiking, and running. I didnt get to sleep until about 4 am. And I had to hold "it" all night b/c I couldnt get down from my bunk bed. Also, I got really sweaty because I couldnt find the AC. At some point, I also stepped in an ant pile and was stung approximately 3,051 times. But no worries, I and am still taking great pleasure in scratching the heck out of my feet each chance I get.

But seriously, I really had a great time. I am so fortunate to be able to camp with both girls at least once in Girl Scouts. It really is a fun experience for sure! I also get to hear great camp songs...like "Little Black Things" I'll have to sing it for you next time you see me.

With all due respect,

Mr. President,

Please refrain from using "WE" in your future speeches.